Can You Hear Me Now?....Ooops

So last night, I was super frustrated and tired. I'd just taken a midterm which I did fairly well on but I had to trudge across campus and through a crowd of people going to the U of U vs. Utah State game of some sort. This wouldn't have been a problem if I had been walking the same way as all of them and if I had had the cell phone.

I got home fine and crashed as was much needed and when I woke up I had to work on more stuff. Alas, the little cell phone became victim of my frustrations, I threw it at the ground and the flip part of it broke off of the bottom splitting an entire wire.

Who knew I was that strong? How many other times had the phone fallen or slipped and come out of things unmaimed?

So now, still crazy maniacally busy, but now, this just in, cell phone less.

The End, Oh, Its in Sight.

So after nearly 3 months of burning the candle from 8 different ends, the end is in sight. December 9 is both too soon and too far but the end of classes is going to be the best reward ever.

Does that mean current hermit-like patterns will end? not likely, I am going to have to extinguish all the flames first and hope none of them meet in the middle, otherwise I don't know what kind of an aftermath I'll be dealing with.

So why not blog about current stresses and struggles? It seems that my lack of posting concerned some, while it is just one of those things I feel is near the bottom of my to do list. In fact off to work on other more pressing items. Taa-taa for a while.

Compliments

How many times do people say nice things to us and we refuse to take the item? It sounds silly right?
I just read a post about the self deprecating comment here and boy was it eye opening.

Compliments are a rare and fun gift of life so why snub the bearer of the gift by not graciously accepting? I feel kind of criminal by the compliments I've had a hard time accepting and I've downplayed by saying something in contradiction to what the initial compliment was. But here's to a better attempt at being more gracious.

What do you think?

7, Count Them, 7

7 Weeks until finals. 7 more weeks of kill me semesterdom and then finals, it just sounds so final.

Fall break was spectacular and has made the upcoming 7 weeks less overwhelming. We had a whole week off! Bless the U and their allotment of holidays. Other school around here gave people a mere day or if it was in Provo, they got nothing at all. Fal break is like Spring break so both semester require such breaks, to not give us a break like that would result in more emotional breakdowns and who wants that?

So here we are staring Fall in the face and enjoying every moment of spectacularly vibrant trees of course soon to follow is the leaf crunching time. I tell you what if there was one season I wouldn't mind seeing year round it'd be fall. The crisp air, the feeling of nature maturing and then near the end the harvest time, halloween, and lest we forget crunchy leaves.

Yesterday evening Ryan called me to look out the window and we saw a empty tree with zounds of leaves by our parked car. Of course we went outside and started crunching. And I'm glad we did because today I awoke to thunder and lightning. All the leaves were soggy and stuck to me as I walked to work. Thankfully I crunched an ample amount the night before to suffice all grumpiness I had with the Monday morning weather.

So ambitiously I'm crunching away at the end of the semester, leaving me with

7 more weeks of declensions and conjugations
7 more weeks of transribing
3 more weeks of a group math project....
7 more weeks of jazz and a concert.

To reiterate a very wise and ambitious builder:

Can we do(build) this?

YES
WE
CAN!

-Bob the Builder

H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N What Does that spell? Halloween!

Sometimes I feel like I'm always rooting for things that most people disdain. Call me the devil's advocate and for years I did deserve the title.

Its fun to dress up and look different than you always do, its cathartic. You know, that word that made Aristotle's justification of plays and literature vs Plato's complete disdain for them credible.

Cathartic, pertaining to catharsis which as defined is:

Main Entry: ca·thar·sis
Pronunciation: \kə-ˈthär-səs\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ca·thar·ses \-ˌsēz\
Etymology: New Latin, from Greek katharsis, from kathairein to cleanse, purge, from katharos
Date: circa 1775
1 : purgation
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

It seems that dressing up would allow complexes to be dealt with by allowing it consciousness.

So you don't criticize people for going to the movie's, a play, or opera so why criticize adults who celebrate Halloween? I've heard it labelled a child's holiday but I don't understand why its less culturally acceptable for adults to enjoy, after all they have a much more mundane routine oft times than children.

Besdies that its infinitely more creative than going and watching a movie or something that takes little to no effort. My Grandpa and Grandma always dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Hall O. Ween. Awesomely creative and fun right? I think so.

But I have to say, as a child I hated Halloween and it wasn't until I married Ryan that I began to enjoy the holiday again. So how can I be posting on a subject I used to hate? Well I'll tell you why I hated it, I hated the creepy gorey part with people dressing up like killers or psycho's. (one year my brother was a Cereal Killer he dashed a cereal box to smithereens!) But as a child I avidly played dress up and loved pretending, it was just that the line between Halloween and fun was skewed.

Halloween today is infinitely different from how it was when I was little. I remember my family were die hard trick or treaters, my dad went with us and if it rained or snow (it often did) he'd drive us around the neighborhood. My mom always had soup for us before hand and homemade hot chocolate when we got back. When my parents moved when I was 8 Halloween changed for me. I no longer knew the neighborhood, people didn't know me or my family yet and it was scary being in uncharted waters. The streets didn't have as many lights and a lot of people just stuck candy on the porch.

So I stopped liking Halloween because it was different. I stopped going trick or treating after I was 10 and I labelled the holdiay stupid. That was around the time that the Mall's started providing a safe trick or treating atmospher and trunk or treats started popping up. I definitely understand the precautions but I still think the holiday deserves to be considered a holiday and not just a silly thing for children. I kind of feel bad for my kids if trick or treating to them is merely trunk or treating.

So why not root for Halloween and its fun for ALL ages? I'm sure going to!

How do you feel about Halloween for adults? What do you want to dress up like for Halloween?

Monday Monday!

Test finished and I got a heeping awesome dose of Adrenaline that is still lingering.

I erased what I first wrote because I realized it was next to unintelligible so here is my 2nd attempt.

So here I am trying to remember how not to go to school from work and its rather hard because its such a habit.

Life is good, no strike that, life is great and while I'm still working on projects this week, I do not have class or tests or quizzes or homework due. This alone makes everything rose colored. Ryan however, is in crazy project mode and while I'm free as a bird he's fairly chained to his laptop. Poor kid.

So I've determined something, I don't know how to not be in school. Its my lunch hour and I am sitting at my desk blogging, its like a quasi lunch a faux lunch if you will. The point is I don't know how to do this, and if I unlearn being in school how will that affect me next week?

But be proud of me I am taking Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off. I'm pretty excited about it, but again I don't really know how to take days off unless I'm sick or Ryan has them off too so this should be quite the adventure for me.

Whats your favorite thing to do on days off? (not including Holidays, or vacations)

Sassy Boot Friday!

After sending my boots into the shoemaker for 2 weeks, where it rained and sleeted mind you, my fall bootwear is finally being returned to me in virtually new condition.

I have to add I love my boots! I found them both years ago at secondhand stores and I just fell in love with them. And you know what they say "If the shoe fits wear it!" And so I have despite trends and everything else, a good classy boot is always in goot taste.

So besides being only fashionable they've been the best boots I've ever encountered for all seasons.That means bring on the torrential rain, mud and sleet (no snow just yet please?) because with my boots none of these things will drastically impact me.

I'm stoked, this is the best Friday ever!

Flats will be safely placed at the back of the closet during stormy winter weather and heels just in fron of them. Heels and campus during winter are not pals, in fact campus will freeze your feet and get some sort of percipitation on you leaving you with little to no hope for being warm the rest of the day.

Yes some days I realize I sound like a much older woman, but somedays I walk to campus in snow on property that is not the campuses and thus it does not get shoveled. Thus boots equal safety sanity and warmth.

What do you keep as a staple for both form and function?

Math Update

Whilst reviewing discovered the Math test is Multiple Choice! Someone in heaven must want me to pass!

Also, tried alligator sausage, it was less than appetizing, however I swallowed it which is more than I can say for Ryan!

3rd Anniversary and The Ever Absent Camera

So after painstakingly saving pennies for our Anniversary we went to Rodizio Grill.

It was delightful and if there was a problem it would only be that I don't have a bigger stomach or I just don't know when to stop eating.

Ryan enjoyed it and even after we were done we sat around waiting for the next grilled pineapple. I joked with Ryan and said, if I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be grilled pineapple. Keep in mind this is not the same as making shishkebabs and grilling them, rather this is having an open fire with the food over the open flame.

Also, another note, I don't super love uncooked pineapple, odd right? I don't know why its just one of those things, but when its grilled its just amazing.

So because we planned this out months in advance I was bound and determined to take the camera. When I got home last night from work and my midterm I found the camera and I swear I put it in my purse after making sure that the battery was fully charged. However, once at the restaurant I put my hand in my purse to take the camera out and take a picture, lo and behold it wasn't there. After our date I looked for the camera and somehow it was on the table.

This is only one of several occassions when the camera is ever absent. So my inquiry, what is a good way to have the camera ready at hand for moments in life that bear documenting?

Wednesday's, Midterms and Functioning on Less Than Ample Sleep

So after a monumental evening of studying for Survey of Jazz I've discovered 3 things:

1-Knowing the movie "Swing Kids" and remembering detail about the musicians talked about has made the basics of this class a cake walk.

2-Going to sleep around 2 and feeling ill from being so tired is not a useful study habit.

3-6:00 is just too far away!

However, studying done my dreams were far from boring. We had a mesh of "Swing Kids" meets New Orleans. All the spinning (can music spin?) made me feel nauseous and while I do love Jazz and Swing for its many different styles and influences, listening to old recordings of songs is grating. I listened to over 21 tracks for my midterm tonight, and while I love the music, not being able to tell the difference between what should sound like a tenor sax and a kazoo is less than ideal.

Oh well, test in less than 8 hours and we can put last night behind us. However, it would be nice if the test was sooner than that, I'd like to have a nice relaxing evening tonight.

Also, going to sleep in a trance induced spinning state is what I imagine being hungover to be like. No Bueno.! Room spinning disorientation coupled with crazy pressure on head plus nausea, how is that worth the so called 'fun' night? It gives me anxiety just remembering. Ah well, it is worth feeling over prepared for my test.

I will conquer you!

However Math Midterm, we still have a bit of a conflict to resolve. If I could willingly choose to never deal with a topic, it would be Statistics. You think I'm joking huh? Well funny story, I prefer algebra with all its lengthy calculations as opposed to all the inferring done for stats.

I know I know, a certain Math teacher cursed me back in High School when I dropped AP Calc. He said I'd regret dropping math my senior year of highschool, and well that curse has be reaffirmed throughout my college career.

Its just relearning processes is less than ideal for me. I hate relearning how to do things. I hate feeling like this is something I've already learned and yet there are cobwebs and shadows making the knowledge just out of reach. I have a philosophy for school everything should be like riding a bicycle, you never forget. This semester has been full of items on the opposite side of the spectrum than the skill of riding a bike and that I disdain.

However, all is not lost and lots of great material is being tackled and learned. I just am not a math person anymore (if I ever was), but I am half way through NEVER needing stats ever again. YAY!

Nom de Plume

I've been thinking for ages about publishing names. and about when the time comes, how I want my name to show up.

Angie Meeks just doesn't sound formal, it sounds like the spunky eclectic person I am. However, it just doesn't have the certain joi de vivre that's marketable.

First of all it blatantly tells everyone way to much about my personal life and my ethnicity. Plus when I do publish, I'd rather have it be a little difficult to google my name and find out all about my life. Of course there is the pesky realization that MANY people, especially those I know be less than pleased with my writing style and topics.

So I've been batting around several ideas including:

A B Meeks
I know, I know its so JK Rowling, but CS Lewis did it and a lot of other really great writers before so really I'd be part of a genre of writers. The unambiguous initials group.

A. Bixby Meeks
Its intriguing because the A is unknown but still includes quirky middle and loved name. Its a mixture of the name above and below and well its pretty sweet. However, not sure if its original or if it is another genre I'm currently unaware of.

Bixby Meeks
This one fully utilizes my quirky and loved middle name. Not only that, its a double last name title. James Joyce anyone?

I think they are all great possibilities but when push comes to shove, I'm just not sure which name I prefer most.

Why am I so concerned about this now? Well thats a secret!

Anyway, readers I'd love some input on what you think as I'm attached to all 3. What are your opinions? And I'll make a deal, the person who's comment is my favorite will learn my news early.

The Efficiency of Two Screens

I just got two computer screens at work, and I cannot even begin to explain how much more efficient it makes me.

Not only am I more efficient, I print out a lot less and have less clutter on my desk.

It makes me so happy.

So it’s a relatively small change and yet it changed a lot of my perspective on life.

The desire for more ‘Space’ is an interesting concept. I don’t think people realize they have space, they just do not organize it properly.

This is true for Ryan and I, our second apartment is 100 or so square feet smaller than our first. We had lived in our first apartment for just 8 months, and yet we had taken up all the space. The apartment we are in now is under 500 square feet. It is frustrating and a challenge, but a good point for us to start from.

I have always thought homes did not have to be huge. With an excess of space family members are able to avoid one another and live as strangers. Its no secret that I do not like 2 story homes. They suck up the sky and make it difficult to admire the horizon. I know I belong in a home with character more one the bungalow scale of things. It would utilize all the space but not boast of vaulted ceilings.

So my small beginning makes me happy. It forces me to not consume as quickly as a larger abode might and its made the use of space a very important key.

Before Mary left for Turkey, Ryan and I humbly presented some issues we felt within our apartment and Mary proactively recommended changes and ideas to assuage the problem.

The problem is that we didn’t have a place for certain things and because of that, they were taking over our apartment. It is silly how problematic mail and pens can be but with order, not only is it easier to locate them, but to clean them up.

Mail is a truly interesting concept. While invitations and announcements are always welcome, other mail items are cumbersome, monotonous and pointless. Its silly because of all the payments and notices sent online to have another item to look at and sigh as its already been taken care of.

It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer tries to cancel his mail. He is kidnapped and threatened by multiple people, including his friend Newman about a bigger conspiracy.

Not that I believe it is a conspiracy, I just think that paper mail aside from invitations, thank yous, letters and announcements are unnecessary. I know most of mine are shredded into smithereens.

What do you do with unneeded mail?

Rigid Order and Why It Has Stunted Me Until Now

Its not a secret that after years and years of mocking domesticity that I am slipping or rather embracing my crafty side.

I make cards, I've attempted scrapbooking and while its alright, I just don't feel the need yet.

However, I was talking to my mom about this sudden surge into my artistic side and I realized a few things.

I do not like when everything is prepped for me to put together, it limits letting my mind choose or discover for itself.

I will for ever loathe being told exactly how something must be done.

I look at my favorite hobbies, but they still have a lot of breathing room. They have never retorted back to me that I was doing it wrong.

In fact if I was doing something the exact same way someone else was, I think it might give me anxiety.

I love being different. Being exactly who I am. With my silly opinions that are both radical and conservative. I love freely choosing how to put a card together. My cards are incredibly spastic and not at all like what you can buy in a store. But one thing I realize, my cards are more for hand delivery than the mail service.

Ryan keeps telling me I should sell them, and I would, but when I make a card its with an occasion in mind and some sort of basic guidelines.

Trying to sell my cards means anticipating what someone would want or favor. He's funny my Ryan, but I just don't know that I could be so passionate about it if it became a job...

I came across an article where someone surveyed her family on what they would buy, or liked about cards for sale.

It left me feeling less than confident in my hobby. One thing that was clear across the board was that people didn't want to buy overly embellished cards, or cards with crooked sewing and distressing.

Its made me wonder if my cards I've given away as gifts have even been used...because if they haven't been, well then my whole project as a card maker is failed and the convenience and thoughtfulness of having a handmade card is thrown out the window.

A card I made last night featured ALL of the above problems that the general population had with homemade items. Now I'm not even sure if it is a nice gift.

Although, my ONE hope is that all those included in the survey were either prudish and old because my generation is not at all and my gifts so far seem to be well received. One friend who made fun of me for making a card set for her loved it, or she loved it to my face.

And so now to be near to being plunged back into that rigid order is both daunting and stupid.

I just hope my gifts continue to be well received.

What do you guys think?

Dance Fever, or the Lack Thereof

This is a silly thing, but I am craving a night of ballroom dancing more than I EVER have in my entire life thus far.

The last time I danced was months ago. It was funny, Ryan and I pushed furniture out of the way in our little apartment. As fun as it was and can be, it just was not the same as a full floor of wood under my feet.

Nor were we able to really get into the dancing. It is a very very small front room. Since then, I have tried to coreorgraph a large group to go dancing but each and every single time it falls to pieces.

Biggest pet peeves ever, receptions that say they will have dancing but have no dancing until the tail end of the reception. I curse whichever wedding planner thought that idea up. Its painful to go to a reception that specifies that there will be dancing and leaves out that it won't happen until THE END of the reception.

I get my hopes up and then they are dashed to pieces by feeling awkward staying so long and so I leave and with it, leave whatever chance of really dancing I had.

And by really dancing, I mean ballroom and swing. I can be a bit of a snob about the whole clubbing idea...

"It just don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing do wa do wah"


Anyway, this desire only increased after watching the movie "Swing Kids" about people who swing danced in germany during WW II. The movie does a fabulous job of capturing the dance as an improvisational art form. The coreography is not rigid and has a free feel that is so nice to see in film.

Its interesting and sad to me that there aren't that many places to go dancing anymore.

After my computer crashed this spring I lost ALL my swing dance music, cha cha, waltzes etc. It was very very painful. However, I have been rebuilding my library and I think I have a good hour or two of dancing music.

Which means, its time to dust off my dancing shoes and get back in the rhythm.

Books That Have Single-Handedly Changed My Life

I'm an avid bookworm and have been so very lucky to read such phenomenal books within my major. Some have been trying but a lot of them have been immensely rewarding and changed me.

Some have just been so fun, while others have been so heartfelt and still others have been so well written.

Opening up a book for me is like sitting down for a feast. My specific genre's of interest are Children's Lit, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Periodic novels, and Alternate history/future, . Of my top favorites are:

Robin Hobb's The Farseer Trilogy
Robin Hobb's Liveship Traders Trilogy
Robin Hobb's The Fool Trilogy

Markus Zusak's The Book Thief

Lauren Halse Anderson's Speak

Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian

John Case's The Genesis Code

Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree
Dr. Seuss's The Lorax

Mary Ellen Edmunds' You Can Never Get Enough of What You Don't Need: The Quest for Contentment

Jane Austen's Persuasion
Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey

Douglas Adam's The Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy Series

Soon to follow will be a review on each of these.

Misuse of Some Words

Misusing certain words for me is like a repeated slap in the face. Such as those related to my major and specializations. Its like you are insulting my intelligence and the fact that we are associated. I'd like to think people I am associated with can differ words better than most people. However it has reached a breaking point within me.

This has been going on for months possibly years and so I have to point this out.
Epic is not for the everyday.

As deifined, Epic as a noun is:
1)An extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a deity or demigod (heroic epic) or other legendary or traditional hero.
The Icelandic epic took all night to recite.
2)A series of events considered appropriate to an epic.
The book was an epic in four volumes.

Epic as an Adjective
Epic (comparative more epic, superlative most epic)
1.Of, or relating to, an epic.
Beowulf is an epic poem.
2.Momentously heroic
The epic defense was rewarded with the highest military decorations
(slang) Extending beyond the usual or ordinary; extraordinary.
3.The after-prom party was epic. [edit] Adjective
epic (comparative more epic, superlative most epic)

Epics are for a genre and have grossly morphed into a cheapened version of the everyday. So you people who nonchalantly misuse epic, you are destroying it. You are diabolically reducing it to every day slang which are other words that were once also vastly expressive.

So when I say epic what am I describing?

Playing frisbee in the park with friends.
Grabbing dinner somewhere.
A party.
Trying food for the first time.
Watching a movie.

-Or-

The Epic of Gilgamesh
The Iliad
The Odyssey
The Aeneid
Beowulf
The Ramayana
Star Wars
The Lord of the Rings series
The Harry Potter series

The later are my definition of epic. Reserve words for the appropriate situation and place and then I will step off of this soap box. The epics above are beautiful stories with moving characters during a foreign time with adventure and excitement. They are NOT droll everyday experiences. So please, move onto another word to desecrate and leave epics a lone.

And if a moment in time truly deserves to be called epic, such as a wedding or once in a lifetime moments then I can appreciate that. But as it currently stands it is vulgarly used and so this is my call to you to stop.

Oh Joy,....

So with the prospect of graduating and getting jobs, the state likeliest to hire us is on a very dramatic downward spiral. Its painful, and yet, I still dislike said state, and see its lifestyle as the very poison polluting the economy.

Thats right, California, I blame you. And yet someday I have to live there... Its a very bittersweet prospect, and I kinda hope that this crisis will move big companies to safer states and thus end my possible venture to that state.

For said crisis info check out NPR's website here. Can you imagine the very idea of Washington bailing out a state? It makes me shudder...

Epiphany

Tell tale signs of my writing passion are returning. The second thoughts and third thoughts about the second thoughts. It is returning. And with it an epiphany. What is really dampening the creative flow for me? Am I being spread to thin? Am I channeling my creativity in too many directions?

And it hit me. Facebook, msn and other social networking. The constant being connected is taking its toll. Last semester I read an critical theory article on the topic, and feeling I had no time I skimmed through. By skimming I missed an important point, I was not taking it all in, rather I had already decided with how busy I am this article was no different and deserved no more attention.

But the truth? With all this time I have there are one of three new options, walking, timekillers such as Facebook and other social networking or watching a show. The isolation of walking is allowing me to rejuvenate what talent for writing I had. And watching TV pacifies me for a time and does not allow me to delve into my own thoughts. Rather it forces upon me new thoughts that are not quite my own. The social networking purges all my thoughts as I am constantly sharing them and forgetting ideas as they are fleeting the screen before my eyes.

Its ironic really, this constant interconnectedness, and all the conflicting theories; one telling us that we aren't social enough and another telling us we are never quite by ourselves. Either extreme seems to leave an unbalanced lifestyle.

I think its silly when I am chastened for not telling someone about an item. Its funny that people expect always to be connected. Well how can someone be happy? My solution, walking.

And so to a happy walking filled isolation, here's to you and hopefully a renewal of the writer I once was.

Musings on Star Trek

Girl 1: Look at all those people waiting to see Star Trek

Girl 2: Yeah thats so lame. Star Trek sucks.



Said as they walked back into the Star Trek Movie...

Talk about hypocritical!



So my point? Well what is this new movie going to do for Trekkies, and the answer is nothing. It was just as great as the others with much better graphics and better film quality. The only change is new people might be converted and thats always a good thing.



Case in point, Serenity, more people including myself watched the Firefly TV series after seeing the movie. It was a cultist boon for sci fi lovers and in select cities there is a Browncoat day, where every year they show Serenity.



So for people who call it cheesy, hokey and corny, isn't that the majority of TV in general just dressed up as pop culture? Probably with worse screenwriting and yet that's better because its whats accepted by the majority, No thanks, I'd rather have philosophical questions asked with disconcerting answers.



Anyway for all those who see it, I hope you enjoy it.

So it was very much so Trekkie style just amped up with special affects and better filming that wasn't available in the 60's. Its just not the degradation. It was awesome because J. J. Abrams has worked with it, and perhaps now a new cultist group of fans can potentially happen.



I just think people who have criticized Star Trek won't really able to criticize the new movie like they have the past ones. It was trekky goodness through and through, I just don't think people who aren't trekkies will be bugged or recognize that.be able to criticize the new movie like they have the past ones.

It was trekky goodness through and through, I just don’t think people who aren’t trekkies will be bugged or recognize that.

Epiphany and Nostalgia

Sitting at my desk working and something hit. Something was off and things were different from how they were a moment ago. There was a whir and a click as I remembered such changes from my childhood. “But I am inside, there’s no way that I could sense something like that in a building. I looked out the window and saw a rainy evening, but something tasted different. Something was letting me get so close to figuring out this mystery of what it was, only to take it away a moment later. And then finally it hit me. The atmosphere was electric with change. Perhaps just maybe Winter has had its last laugh, tormenting us with a white winter wonderland on April Fool’s day. Today is the first real day of spring.

Spring, a world electric with rebirth and second winds, a world where maybe just maybe, I will survive this semester unscathed. With a new charge and ambition lit within me perhaps Spring will bring more renewal, and new beginnings that we all can use.

March's List of Things That Must Go:

My list of things that must go:

1. Fake people


2. Social Niceties


3. Chain Restaurants-I just think people should realize that each and every single time they eat at a chain that 66% of that money leaves the local community. Yes YOU are the reason why people are losing their jobs and the economy is so bad. You aren’t investing in the community you live in, stay in you suburb and stop complaining if you can’t change your oh so important life in the fast lane lifestyle.


4. Bowling-shoes that are ugly, throwing a ball down a lane to hit pins and a loud atmosphere that is jarring at best. No thank you


5. Tess of the D’Urbervilles, and every person in the world whose personality resembles anyone in the book


6. Miniature Golf-if you are going to golf it might be real sized…. While we are at would you like a mini or teacup sized animal that lives an uncomfortable life being cute for your selfish desires


7. Reality TV- the name is a conundrum, its not real. Its really stupid but that’s as close to reality as it gets. If I chose to be pacified from all of lifes troubles it might as well be unbelievably well written dialogue, and I can concede to it not being real.


8. People over reacting because something in life will no longer pander to their every want and need.


9. People who walk away from their mortgage


10. People who won’t live within their means


11. People who don’t recycle


12. High speed internet that doesn’t work-makes listening to online lectures next to impossible


13. 80 dollar headphones. That’s right Zagg, I think you are an idiot if you think people will spend that much on headphones when they won’t spend money on anything else.


14. ProvoCraft I hate them, first of all their very name includes my 2nd most hated place in the world, the first being Disneyland, world etc… 2nd they have without a doubt the absolute worst customer service I have ever encountered!


15. Ingratitude-Sure I like being nice and sharing, but if you accept it ungraciously and take advantage of the situation I have no choice but to feel misused and left cynical.

Chain Restaurants, Miniature Golf, Bowling, No Thank You

I am not a fan of the above activities, and I make no apologies to all those who enjoy them, this is just my opinion and how I feel.

There are over 100 more appealing things I would choose to do before I resorted to the above activities. They just aren’t fun for me and while I am happy for those who enjoy them, I am tired of people being so surprised that I have such disdain for them.

On the Verge of Ranting

My brain is on the verge of exploding, it is so exhausted and has so much to say but it can’t. Nothing is coherently flowing, just a garbled mess of thoughts connecting from one issue to the next in a very obscure way. I’m just tired, but feel like putting together a list of both, my frustrations, happiness and the meh gray area.

This blog has been utterly unused the last little while, not that that means I’ve calmed down, hardly, it just means I’m using the passion to fire other projects.

So much so that now, when I want to have my thoughts placed in front of me, I can barely grasp what fired me up in the first place. I have been busy and I seem to still not be able to say no and continue to put to much on my plate.

Work has kept me busy, school has kept me busy, and I count every single one of my lucky stars and blessings that I am busy in both fields.

In one of my classes I’ve been reading Tess of the D’Urbervilles which is how Twilight in a real world, with better writing, would have turned out. It’s a trajedy, a very well written trajedy and only makes me more frustrated because it does take place in a time when Feminism didn’t exist. The Victorian era is an absolute conundrum to me, and I can’t believe a people could be so hoity toity. So as I continue to read this book I voice my problems and issues to Ryan while he calms me down by letting me know what really is backwards thinking and what isn’t.

For example a guy does something and expects the girl to forgive him but she has no control and something is done to her that she can’t help and he won’t forgive her. I’d like to skewer anyone who can think that this is ok and I get even angrier when this fault is why he falls in love with her in the first place.

It’s a book that makes me hate men, and women who put up with abuse and mistreatment. Not only that, but its put a fire in my belly that I haven’t been able to stop, I’m just angry this week and I do blame the book.

The professor hates the heroine and says that once people can come to terms with hating her, the book becomes much more likeable. So I very very much so hate the book, the main character, the hypocritical men and all other aspects of the book. If the book does end happily I will throw a fit. In short, I don’t think any of the men, or women in the book deserve to be happy. And if I ever encounter someone who reminds me of these characters with their many shortcomings I believe I will hate the person.

Which brings me to my next point, I’m so tired of receiving notice at big gatherings where people say they miss me so much and wish we got together more, and its because I feel, that’s right feel so you can’t disagree with my feeling, that they then put all responsibility of not seeing me on me. I can’t and won’t subscribe to that way of thinking and think its highly idiotic to tell a person that you wish you saw them more, if you don’t call, text, or e-mail them. But it gets better, if they said that once every 6 months or so I could careless but it happens EVERY time I see them, which is much more than once every 6 months.

Also, I am sick of people double booking their evenings and jumping from one event to the next. Why can’t you just pick one and genuinely enjoy being there? Perhaps we are just in very different places in life, which is ok, but I’d rather be cancelled on than have a pity visit.

I guess what it comes down to is I’m still sick of people being fake and social niceties.

Then I hate arriving somewhere and people waiting till just after I get there to take off, I’d rather be told not to go and not waste my time which is incredibly valuable to me.

I’m dizzy from this week and it doesn’t even feel like next week is spring break, I’m tired and maybe a week free from classes (but not homework) will improve my mood, but I am so tired of so called friends doing all of the above and in every sense of the word acting like the dumb characters from the book aforementioned.

Can’t I just be who I am instead of playing the social niceties game? Perhaps this is just Ryan rubbing off on me, but what a more exhilarating way to live, where I am who I am in all circles of life. This vent has been a long time coming.